Where Do I Go For Help?
It's rarely an unemotive thing that lands you in a blog like this. All too many times, a person has gotten to a stage of distress and even danger, to the point where their fingers have hovered over the keys and wondered if they dare find the courage to type "Help. I think I'm in a cult" into the search engine.
Still more agonise over whether their experience qualifies as cultic. Is it 'just' a controlling church? or 'just' a super intrusive yoga club, spiritualist course, or even multi-level-marketing crew? Here is our take: we need to stop treating 'cult' as an issue of belief. It's not. Its an issue of patterned control and domination. If you are distressed, confused and wondering whether the group you are in ticks these boxes, of what we call group-based coercive control, then there's a good chance you are in a cult or high-control group, or at least need some support in figuring out your next steps.
We aren't going to answer the "am I in a cult" question for you today. The preliminary issue is this: how can you get safe and get help?
If your life or safety is in danger, call 000. No one really loves this suggestion, but its not joke. If your safety is at risk, and you need help exiting, call the police. We know that, if you've been in a cult or high-control group, you might have been told they aren't safe. But this is what they are for. Be clear and concise as to what is going on and why you need help. Don't worry about explaining to the police why your group is a cult. Just tell them about the safety concerns and request help. If you need help explaining the situation after that, consider making contact with us or CIFS (Cult Information and Family Support) so that one of our advocates can help explain the dangers of cults and high-control groups for you. You don't need to be alone in your exit. *note: If you are making a police assisted exit, or if you are making a clandestine escape, try and take your birth certificate, passport or identifying documents/ cards with you. This will make things a lot easier when accessing services to re-establish yourself.
If your life or safety isn't in immediate danger, exhale. You can take a little longer planning your next step. A hotline can help you think through the next steps. CIFS has a phone answering service. You can call them on 0423 332 766 or find them here. CIFS can take crisis calls, talk to you if you are in distress, and help you make important decisions about next steps. You aren't alone in this. When you are in the crosshairs of coercive abuse, you can feel incredibly isolated and alone. Ironically, this is something most if not all cult survivors feel. And it is a huge relief to know other people are out there who know exactly what this feels like.
If you need ongoing help, RTC (Religious Trauma and Cults) has a practitioner directory full of counsellors and psychologists who are religious trauma or cult informed. You can find them here. Contacting RTC means you won't have to explain cultic abuse, group-based coercive control, or religious trauma to someone before they can support you. They get it already.
We are working with government in a number of states to get law reform happening and fix the gaps in a system that is not equipped to deal with cults (yet). But in the mean time, here are three great places to start. Take your safety seriously. If you are safe, then plan your next steps by calling CIFS or making contact with an advocate you feel safe with. Then RTC is there for ongoing support. There is also the Australian Cult Survivors Network - a private group on Facebook where survivors can be understood, and can keep up to date with whats happening in the world of research, support, prevention and law reform.
You aren't alone. And what you are going through matters. There is support out here.
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